Caregiver Information

TIPS FOR FAMILY CAREGIVERS

  • Have a conversation about the dying person’s wishes before the individual gets to the end stage of life.
  • Trying to meet all the needs of your loved one during the dying process is almost impossible. Get comfortable with doing the best you can — there is no perfect.
  • Be realistic about your own capacity to care. Are you going to be able to change adult briefs, give oxygen or administer medications topically, orally or anally?
  • Think about ways to provide dignity. One caregiver found a decorative dividing screen to put around her mother’s hospital bed in the living room, to provide both privacy and beauty.
  • As a caregiver, you must remember to take care of yourself. When you need to, it’s ok to step out of the room and walk around the block.
  • Eat properly.
  • Get enough rest.
  • Exercise regularly.
  • You may find it helpful to read books and websites about caregiving, join a caregiver support group, or seek counseling from your hospice agency.
  • If family, friends or neighbors offer to cook, clean, or shop, accept their offers; helping will likely be as gratifying to them as it is beneficial to you.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for support from neighbors and friends, who are often eager to help if they know what is needed. Being a caregiver to a dying loved one is overwhelming on every level.
  • When you need a break, take it. You can try early on to find others willing to step into the caregiver role periodically so you can have some down time. The hospice should be able to provide an adult volunteer who can visit for an hour or two each week so you can take care of other chores or just relax.

WAYS TO SUPPORT FAMILY OR FRIENDS ON HOSPICE CARE

  • Don’t avoid the patient. Be the friend or loved one you have always been.
  • Call before you visit, but don’t be afraid to visit. They maybe lonely. Ask questions about what they need and when is the best time for company.
  • Touch the patient. A simple squeeze of their hand can tell them you still care.
  • Bring a positive attitude; it’s contagious.
  • Cook a favorite meal. Bring disposable containers so they won’t worry about returns.
  • Weep with the patient when they weep. Laugh when they laugh. Don’t be afraid to share these emotions.
  • You don't have to talk. Sitting silently together can be a comfort to others.
  • Take care of the patient’s children. They may need time to be alone with their loved one. The children may also need a short break.
  • Take the patient out for a pleasure trip, but know their limitations.
  • Ask the patient if they need transportation to the doctor or the store.
  • Call for a shopping list and make a “special” delivery to their home.
  • Celebrate holidays by decorating the patient’s room or home.
  • Help the patient’s family. Offer to come stay with the patient to give the family a break, or invite them out.
  • If appropriate, pray together.
  • Send a card that says, “I care.”
  • Bring small gifts of flowers or other natural treasures.
  • Water the plants.
  • Offer to help with laundry, dirty dishes or light housekeeping.
  • Ask if the patient wants to talk about their illness. Ask, “Do you feel like talking about it?”

SOME WAYS TO MAKE CAREGIVING EASIER INCLUDE:

  • Asking for help with anything and everything
  • Keeping a baby monitor near your bed to better hear if your loved one needs anything while you are resting
  • Appointing one person to keep loved ones and friends informed
  • Developing a back-up plan in the event caregiving becomes overwhelming
  • Keep a notebook with all caregiving information in one place; have this notebook with you when you talk to the hospice staff
  • When you are describing a new symptom, give as many details as possible. These details help your hospice team find the best solutions
  • Always feel free to ask questions and seek help from the hospice staff
  • If you do not understand something, keep asking questions until you completely understand